Reassured

Mark and I met with the nurse practicioner, Ann Kelly, today. Everything appears to be fine -- based on physical exam and blood work. She said that the longer I remain on the current "first line" treatment, i.e. Tamoxifen and Lupron, the better. My team is very encouraged that I've been stable for over 30 months. There is that small concern about another spot on my hip, but they say it's to be expected with this disease -- difficulty in interpreting findings and what it might mean. I got a 3-month injection of Lupron, so will see them back in 3 months. Unless I have significant symptoms and then I am to call immediately. So for now... clean bill of health!

I went to see the therapist again and it was a really good meeting. I told her that I am considering quitting my job and want to do something out West with the arts/locally made products. I told her about the commercial space that we are thinking about. I then said, "am I crazy?" She surprised me and said that she thought it is a great idea and was quite encouraging. We talked about how my need for "stability" can also be limiting. I have a fear that others will judge me as "unstable" or "impulsive". That is all part of my family-of-origin history and not really true of me at this point in my life.

So Mark and I are moving ahead with our inquiries. He got a call back from the building inspector and there are some structural problems with the building and hence the drop in price. We are going to hire an engineer to evaluate and see what it would cost to fix it. I was talking with a nurse at the Dana Farber today who told me about an artist building in Lowell which has some sort of monthly artisan fair. I am going to try to see some artist spaces this weekend to gauge the market -- what's already available and what things cost. It's a small community to whatever we do I want to be additive, not competing with what's already in place and successful.

I am going to think about my job for a few more weeks... but am thinking to give notice and finish by June 1. Am I really saying that?