Celebrating the "non" news

March Farm
Bethlehem, CT

My dear friend Suzanne gave some sage advise a few years ago: celebrate after every medical appointment. And for the most part, I do! Yesterday I saw the NP for the 6 week consult. Blood work, physical exam. All is well. In another 6 weeks I'll get scanned again. If all is "stable", then the scans will be back to every 6 months.

I love Lauren. She is patient, takes time to explain things. At the last 2 consults with The Vixen, Glenn and I left feeling disappointed/freaked our that a few spots showed up  on my bones in April. When I asked specifically in July if those spots had gotten worse, better, whatever... she was vague in her answer. Not reassuring! She just said "let's call it stable" Lauren explained more clearly that bone cancer is different in that it's not a discrete mass like on the breast or liver. You can't measure it precisely at all. It's shadows. Sometimes the shadows light up more when the bone has healed, sometimes the shadows light up more when cancer is active and getting worse. WTF??


So Lauren explained that bone cancer is a "matrix" of fibers. Bones are not solid. Who knew!

She said that if you have to have metastatic breast cancer, going to the bones is the "best" scenario as it typically grows the slowest. She said that for me, it's not taken off like wildfire. In their view, I've only had one real recurrence which was in 2017 when I got all that focused radiation to my right sacrum.

I left her feeling better. She said - live your life. Renovate your kitchen (it's definitely time after living in my house since 1992). I'm planning again.

To celebrate, Judy invited me over to play bluegrass. I had a nice IPA beet (yes, on a school night). She taught me "West Virginia". I'm working on "I Still Miss Someone" by Johnny Cash that I learned at Podunk. I saw a flyer at the VFW hall where we often go to see jazz on Fridays. That the hall was open to other musical groups as well. I texted John who leads the Friday night jazz program and asked if we could play there too. He said yes! So I'm organizing a local bluegrass jam! Judy loves the idea, the space is free and available on Sundays.

Stay tuned!

Podunk

I'm back in my happy place, back into "denial". Call it what you will. My self-talk around the cancer is now: I had one small recurrence in June 2017 which was treated. Now I'm stable. Not quotes around that word. Just face value.

And with that shift, I can plan again.

This weekend we will go to my/our first bluegrass festival, Podunk. It's the 23rd season. This year it's being held at Goshen, Connecticut fairgrounds which is 2 towns north of Bethlehem. So it the weather is terrible or there aren't showers (I really don't know what to expect), we can get home quickly. We will camp! Last weekend we got out Glenn's gear and we're good to go.

There are 2 free workshops which I'll attend. The Werneck Method. There are concerts every night. During the day and late into the night everyone jams in the camping area. You wander around with your instrument until you find a group of players that are a good fit. We are friends with a bluegrass band in Connecticut (Sweet Cake Mountain) and I've met a few people through Judy and playing a few times with the Handsome Ladies.

On my bike commute I "work" on songs, ie I sing! And try to remember lyrics. At this point I'm working on 25 songs. I play the guitar every day even if for a few minutes. Today I work 9am to 9pm but even so I'll get home late and play a bit.

I've booked tickets to take my 14 year old niece Zoey to Paris over Thanksgiving.

My sense of time is opening up again.