Emilio, age 4 months

Mark's company has partnered with the Massachusetts Department of Children and Families for the third year. His company agreed to provide 150 kids in state custody with holiday gifts. Mark signed up for 4 kids. He brought his list home -- it gave the kid's first name and last name initial; age; a very short list of what they would like for the holiday; and the name and office of their DCF social worker.

I asked Mark if I could sponsor one of his "kids" and he gave me Emilio.

[As an aside, we were within a phone call of being put in foster care. Our parents were both dead and our step-mother had gone crazy on booze and pills. Had our aunts not intervened, that would have been our life, too. I was 17. So I have a special spot in my heart for kids in state custody.]

We shopped local in an old-school department store. It was one of the most gratifying shopping experiences of my life! Mark was super generous with his 3 kids, too.

Now this is enjoying the holidays!

A Month of Gifts

My mother died on December 1, 1981. I miss her more with each passing year. Or more accurately, I miss what could have been. The holidays have always been a hard time for me -- and plenty of others, too.

4 years ago I stumbled upon an article in Yoga Journal written by a woman struggling with a bad medical diagnosis. Her spiritual teacher suggested that rather than giving in to despair and self-pity, that instead she should do something kind for someone else every day. The writer took this on, and eventually wrote a book about it. I have long since forgotten the title and author. Although it's probably in this blog in late 2009.

Anyway, since December 2009, I have done my own version of this. For each and every day of the month, I give someone a gift. As the year draws to a close, I find myself looking forward to this rather than dreading the approach of Christmas. Today's gift went to Narayan. Last night I baked a coconut bundt cake. And she was also collecting money for her upcoming trip to Burma. So I gave a hefty amount for that as well.

Yesterday I got an email from the meditation center, inviting me to meet with Narayan tonight. This is highly unusual. Typically you wait for months for a private interview and they are planned long in advance. And typically it's 20 minutes. We met after class, and she wanted to follow up with me about all we talked about last time. About a month ago was our last meeting. There was no time constraint, so we just caught up. It was lovely.

I sometimes joke with Mark and Narayan herself that being with her is like being with Jesus. But it really is an extraordinary thing to be with her in a group or one-on-one. She has an uncanny ability to read situations really quickly and responds in such a compassionate but real way. I am so grateful to have met her in this lifetime.

She continues to inspire me. 

Daddy-O

Mark's dad died on Friday November 22. He spent the last 9 days of his life with both sons by his side, seeing him out of this life. We buried him on Tuesday. Mark and Tony created a beautiful and moving ceremony that culminated in an Army send-off with a female officer playing taps on the bugle, followed by the flag folding. It was very moving and so fitting. Daddy-O didn't talk much, but he was always happy to talk about his memories as a World War II service man.

Mark's birthday is November 18 so we were relieved that Daddy-O made it a few days past that.

Even though his dad was 89 and his death was inevitable, it has still been really hard.

Mark is back to work today.
Please wish him well!