Good to the Last Drop

I just took my final dose of medication - opthalmic prednisone. What a relief to throw that little bottle in the garbage! I didn't even check to see if it is recyclable. Good riddance!

Now it's just a matter of waiting it out -- hoping to regain as much eyesight as possible. The surgeon says that it can take months to re-gain what has been lost. And there are no assurances how much will come back. But the pinhole test indicates that I should recover a lot more. I'll get measured for new glasses in a few weeks. And hopefully/likely, will need less strong lens in the coming months. In the meantime I'm getting by with my old glasses.

I will return to work August 1.

What can I say about these last 2 months? This was much harder than cancer. The isolation was killing me. I felt very lonely, isolated. I was hoping that it would take me inward, relishing in the time to practice meditation. But that's not how it was. Basically I could not wait to get back to my external, active life. So clearly I'm not very far along on the spiritual path. Give me a bike! and a party!

One new thing that I re-discovered over these 2 months was the guitar. We swapped Mark's classic Guild for a Walden which has a pick-up and electronic tuner. On Thursday I took a lesson with a well-known musician named Michael Nix. I was holding the guitar completely wrong - for starters. I hope to be able to find time to take regular lessons with him one I get back to full-throttle living. I love feeling the instrument resonate through my fingers and entire body. And having an amp makes it really fun.

Last night I ventured into the studio for the first time. It was so great to be in there again. I am curating a show in Cambridge that will be installed August 18. And hope to prepare a few more pieces before then.

And the Pan Mass Challenge - I am going for it! It is a week from Saturday. I have done 3 longish rides since Wednesday - 29 miles, then 45 miles, then another 40 on Saturday. It was beastly hot and I felt fine. I'm going by the conventional wisdom that if you can bike 60 miles comfortably, you can do a century ride. I'll attempt 60 this weekend. That will give me the confidence to do the full ride. But of course Mark says he'll pick me up anywhere along the way if I crap out. So I'll get in a few more "short" training rides (12-20 miles) and then rest completely next week. and eat! and eat! and eat!

First Things First

The first thing = morning yin yoga class.
I have missed so many things over the last 7 weeks!
This morning I went my usual early morning yin yoga class.
Yin style does long, slow poses. Typically you are supported on blocks, blankets or bolsters and hold the pose for 3 minutes.
It was delightful! That first downward-facing dog was particularly freeing.

I haven't driven, either, in 7 weeks.
It's time to go see the Angels!
So I'll venture down to Cape Cod for a few nights.

I am so grateful to get my life back!

Medically Clear!

I just got back from seeing the eye surgeon. I was in a panic while with the techs. They did a new series of tests to determine whether there is a problem with the macula (sp?). The tech had a very hard time getting an image of the left eye. So I was freaking out. and the tech who tested my vision said that I had made no improvement, although the pin hole test showed slight improvement. By the time I got to see the surgeon, I was a nervous wreck.

Bottom line: I'm going to be fine! Will continue one of the medications for another week, then no more anything. Will return to see him and another opthomologist in 3 weeks. Will be fit for glasses. My vision will continue to come back - slowly - but this is the normal course of recovery. Glasses will definitely correct whatever additional near-sightedness I have, and he said that I can do laser surgery in the future which would correct myopia in both eyes.

AND the best news is that I can exercise again! Basically I can do what I like, as tolerated. If I didn't have meditation class tonight, I'd pull out my bike and go out immediately. How I have missed that!

I'll return to work August 1.

How about the Pan Mass Challenge? It's 2+ weeks away. Is there any way I can get prepared? That sounds like madness, to even consider it. But I'm entertaining the possibility...

Wow, what an experience this has been.
Much scarier than cancer which sounds improbable. But that's been my experience.

Alleluia!

Blur

This is slow going. I spoke with my cousin Jennifer recently, and she noted that our family's "default" setting is to be active, to work really hard, to get things done. Which serves us well in many life situations. However, in this situation, it is not a good quality. With this, it's about being totally passive and letting the healing happen. It is almost 5 weeks post-surgery, and the vision in my left eye is really blurry. The surgeon told me last week that by today the eye should be clear. And it's not. Which is worrisome. I will call later to ask if this is unusual and needs to be evaluated, or if it's on the continuum of healing. It's certainly better, but not as soon as I'd expected.

Mark is in California this week on business, so I'm alone. And unable to drive. So I'll be in the city all week.

I was just out with the dog, and dropped the back door key down the basement stairs. The light was not turned on, and the other light was burned out. So I could not find the key. Which caused a momentary panic. I tried to use my phone to light the area, but I still could not find the key. Fortunately the upstairs neighbor was home and came down with a flashlight as even the basement light didn't really help. He found the key which had dropped into the washing machine.

Such new appreciation for eyesight!

the danger is past

Good news!
I saw the surgeon today, and all is healing well. He said, "the danger is past".
The vision is coming back in my left eye, slowly but steadily.
He said I can stop taking the medication that kept my left eye dilated and hence blurry. So within a few days, I should be able to see clearly out of both eyes. I'll continue 2 medications... but this is looking up!
I can read as much as I want, up to 3-4 hours/day. Wow, what a luxury!
Still no exercise other than gentle walks, up to 20 minutes at a time.
I may be able to drive, depending on how my eyes feel.
He said that basically I follow the wisdom of my body and back off when my eyes hurt or headache.
I'll see him again in 3 weeks.

So I'm just so relieved.

Mark and I drove out to our house out West this evening and will stay through the weekend. It's our 10th wedding anniversary on Thursday.

He gave me a yearlong subscription to The New Yorker as an anniversary gift. Nice to know that I'll be able to read it now!