And so a chapter closes...

Lynn took this photo of our sweet little studio in East Boston where Team Tolstoy met for the last 15 months as we finished The War and Peace Project. She moved out the last of our furniture and such. We let the studio go as of this month. It is a tiny little space, maybe 10 by 10 feet, but it suited our purpose just beautifully. The space is really too small for more than one person to do any work on a regular basis. So we decided to let it go.

I just want to acknowledge the close of this chapter. It was fantastic, one of the best things I've ever done. But like everything else, things change and one needs to move on...

"The Secret World of Arrietty"

I saw this film a few days ago and just loved it! I really like animation and this was really beautiful. It is a Disney release, a co-production with a Japanese film company. A must-see!

I feel great today. Spending a day in silence is good medicine! It helps to let go of the mental chatter, to relax, to see things more clearly.

Here is a teaching from Joseph Goldstein's "Insight Meditation: the Practice of Freedom:

"Meditation is not thinking about things. The thinking, or discursive, level of mind pervades our lives; consciously or unconsciously we spend much or most of our lives there. But meditation is a different process that does not involve discursive thoughts or reflection. Because meditation is not thought, through the continuous process of silent observation new kinds of understanding emerge." It is really interesting to actually watch your thoughts -- and patterns. Little by little, I am understanding these practices and little by little, am finding more freedom. I am so grateful to have access to all of this -- teachers and teachings.

I started at 7am and finished at 9pm. I follow the schedule in Sylvia Boorstein's book "Don't Just Do Something, Sit There". There is a 2 hour break for lunch -- I ate and took a nap! And an hour dinner break. And an hour of dharma study. During one of the 1-hour walking periods I did yoga. Other than that it was walking or sitting meditation. Sasha really loves it because we spend so much time in the woods. Altogether, it is 3 hours and 15 minutes of walking. And a lot more hours of sitting.

I will definitely do this once a month. Val couldn't join me but will plan for next month. I am already looking forward to it!

Today I have my Russian class, then will meet up with Marian for a walk in the woods, and this evening will meet Karma and Jeff for dinner. It's snowing now so will have to check if the bike group is going out tomorrow. If so, I'll also take my bike to town for a spring tune-up!

February Retreat

 I just love these photos. A cigar-smoking handsome man took these photos on Chris's phone. We had just been at the Soho Starbucks. That was a few weeks ago.

I drove out West this evening. Mark is working the full week (someone has to work around here!), then traveling for work. So I came out with my constant companion, Sasha the beautiful chocolate lab. By the way, she is doing great. The weight loss totally resolved her knee problem and as far as I can tell, she is not bothered by any joint issues at all. What a relief.

Tomorrow I will do another silent self-retreat which I am really looking forward to! If I continue to enjoy it so much, I'd like to do it the last Friday of each month. I start at 7am and finish at 9pm. A whole day committed to practice, unplugged, no distractions of any kind. Val will join me for a chunk of the day. This will be a new aspect -- to maintain silence with a very good friend! We've both committed to it, so that will be fine. The whole day -- walking and sitting meditation and yoga. One exception I make is that I actually hike or snow shoe during the walking meditation time. At a formal retreat, the walking is extremely slow. I need a little more activity! Of course there are meal breaks, too. And in lieu of a dharma talk, I read for that hour. I'm slowly making my way through Joseph Goldstein's book called "Insight Meditation: The Practice of Freedom". When I did it last month, I just loved the peace and quiet.

I'm very busy preparing for the April show that I'm curating. I have gotten a lot of people interested in participating, so will actually make some choices about who gets to be in the show. The show is now on the other foot! For so many years I was hoping to be picked for shows -- now I get to do it! It is a lot of work and it will only intensify as the time gets closer. But I'm really enjoying the process. Who knows? Maybe I'll do more of this in the future. My sister always tells me that I'm a bit of a Tom Sawyer and have a knack for getting people to do things. Fun things, hopefully!

I've also been devoting more time to Russian studies which has been quite challenging, frustrating but also satisfying.

Mark's son is in the midst of a crisis. He does not like me to say anything on that topic so I'll leave it at that. This is a good opportunity to practice metta!

Speaking of which, Narayan is teaching as of last week and the topic this term is metta! Which I'm very happy about.

And Sunday I'll go on my first training ride with a bicycle group that meets weekly. I haven't done any serious mileage since last August -- but I'm looking forward to that, too.

Canal Street

2/10/12
Canal Street

This photo was taken last Friday by Chris's friend in the subway! Canal Street, New York City. I brought along the rabbit fur had for her as she lives in Atlanta, but sure needed it in New York. We stayed in a great hotel (great meaning good value and fantastic location), the Holiday Inn Soho. It is 1 block off Canal Street, between Chinatown, Little Italy and Soho. I bought this crazy hat from a Tibetan vendor, along with matching fingerless gloves. To say we had a blast is an understatement. Chris and I were in the City for 4 nights, Lucy was there for 2 nights, and Trish and Lynn for 1 night.

Chris and I have promised to return every 6 months or so. The main thing was the workshops and opening reception at The New School on Monday the 13th, but other than that we did a lot of roaming around on foot which is what I like to do in New York. One of the highlights was going to The Strand Bookstore where I found a bi-lingual book of Russian short stories. English on one side, Russian on the other. That is a great way to learn language.

Although when I went to see my Russian tutor yesterday, I was completely humbled. It is so much easier to read than to speak! It is going slowly as I only see her one hour a week. She offered to speak on the phone every evening for a few minutes, to practice day-to-day conversation. How was your day? What did you eat for dinner? That's my level of conversation. I hope to be further along by June!

I'm very busy, curating the Creative Couple's show for April which means preparing the post card, press release, identifying the artists and planning the reception. I'm also working on a new encaustic piece which needs to be delivered to the South End gallery by Thursday.

Mark and I are out West, a long weekend. There is a bit of snow on the north-facing hills, otherwise it is sunny and mild. Of course it is nice not to have to negotiate the snow and ice, but I find it totally unnerving, this weird weather. Here but all over the world as well. Trees are budding and shoots are coming up that we shouldn't see for another couple of months. That makes me worry about this year's crops. 

The New School!

Lucy put together this announcement for our workshops and opening reception on Monday at The New School in New York City. I will be taking the bus down today which is about a 4 hour ride. Christiane will fly up from Atlanta today as well. She went to Yasnaya Polyana with us last August. Lucy will join us on Sunday, and Trish and Lynn will arrive on Monday, in time for the workshops and party.

I still can't believe that we finished the project! But it is still alive and well... we have a lot of mileage yet to go. A collage artist in Berlin told me about a collage magazine from Montreal that has both a print and online version. I will contact them next week. And Lucy also put me in touch with the communications director at Dana Farber Cancer Institute about doing a story about me (the "cancer" angle) which might also include a show and workshops (that's the more fun part). And of course the shows in Russia in June.

I also just took on a new project as well. For the last year, I have been thinking about curating a show called "Creative Couples" which would include the artwork of both partners. Mark and I went to a gallery meeting on Wednesday, and there is an opening in the schedule for April, so I am moving ahead with that idea. So far I have 4 couples who want to participate. I would like 10-15 couples, and will do a call for artists and hopefully include a lot of new/unknown people. I am very interested in what is the experience of creative couples -- how does it work, and ways it might not/does not work. So once I get back from New York, I will shift into that project.

So much to do, how much time?

We Finished The War and Peace Project

 Here are some photos that our studio neighbor took of us  ("Team Tolstoy") on Friday. He is a famous photographer but asks that photo credit go to "found on floor" which is an antiquated term used when photo editors would find film on the floor and not know who to credit it to. Hence the term, also known as "FOF".

In any case, we did it! I started the project in late 2009, and Lynn joined me a few months later. I had shelved it -- it was way too much to envision completing 748 collages on my own. I invited her to join in as a way of connecting and to pull her through the knothole of chemotherapy.

I never envisioned we'd actually finish it, much less to have so much success with it. Here's to friendship, creativity and limitless possibilities!

In this photo I am holding what had been my 50th birthday card, made by Team Tolstoy last May. They used paper that was exactly twice the size of our 5x7 inch collage size. Last time I was in the studio with Adrienne, I noticed the card hanging on the wall. And voila! I knew that it would be the last collage as everyone had contributed to it. I cut it in half and gave Lynn the second to last piece.

Finishing this project of course has brought up other questions, namely -- what will I do next? Between preparing for the New School show, starting Russian classes, going to Russia in June and training for the Pan Mass Challenge in August... that's enough to keep me busy all summer!

Russian tutor

Val and I went snow shoeing last Sunday and she took these photos on her phone. The quality of images is amazing on these phones! Much better than I take with my cheap little camera. I always love photos that include Sasha. She is doing great. She is very slender these days, her energy is great, and she has no sign of a limp, or even favoring her "bad" knee. It's amazing how helpful it was to lose the weight. I've had a few friend joke that maybe their aches and pains would go away if they, too, lost weight. It sure worked with Sasha!

Val came up to our house again today and we went for a walk in the woods with Mark. There is hardly any snow which is so weird and rather unsettling. Usually at this time of year, there are up to a few feet on the ground. Tomorrow is forecast to be in the 50's. What's up with the weather?

Yesterday I took my first Russian class. It is a "private". Marian introduced us. My teacher, Vera, has lived in the US for 15 years. We met in her cozy kitchen. She was not trained as a language teacher, but was a violin teacher in her home country. I had been working on my own since late last spring, but it's entirely different to speak. I was getting pretty comfortable in my 1970's Soviet-era grammar book, but having her ask me questions in "real time" was baffling! Wow, I have a lot to learn. She loaned me an ABC primer that she used with her grandkids in the past. The first page has hand-drawn images of a horse, a dog, a cat. With the words printed below. I think she worried it was insulting, to give me such an easy book. But it's perfect! We will meet weekly. It is fun! And humbling. I speak Portuguese and Spanish at work. When I speak with Vera, out comes Portuguese. It will take a while to get my brain working in Russian as smoothly as it does in Portuguese. A new challenge!