All Clear!

 I just got back from my oncology appointment, and all is well! It was the 3-month visit which is low-key relative to the 6-month visit when I get scanned. I saw the nurse practitioner whose name is also Anne. She is great, too. She is more indulgent in being my cheerleader. She entertains my ideas of cutting back on treatment more readily than The Vixen. The Vixen always curbs my enthusiasm when we talk about how well I'm doing. I think she worries that at some point it won't be such a bed of roses, and is trying to prepare me. But of course I'd rather have a cheerleader, then the "realist". I'll manage the "reality" if and when it comes. So I left feeling highly encouraged. All is well.

This morning I was able to attend Zoey's Carnival of the Animals production. It is an annual event for the kindergarteners at the Angels' school. I went to Shayna's show 4 years ago, and Luke's show 2 years ago. And now it's Zoey's turn. I was one of the few adults in the audience who wasn't a teacher. The morning show was mostly for the other students, and tonight's show is for the families. I can't go tonight -- we are hanging the Creative Couples show -- so I opted for this morning. Zoey's group was dressed as elephants. You can see her leading the pack in the second photograph. Before the show I stopped at a florist's and bought her a big bouquet of flowers. She didn't know what to make of them when I gave them to her after the show.

Mark is traveling -- again -- to California. This is his 3rd trip in a month.

Tomorrow I'll do a long bike ride. My new bike is a Felt. I have ridden it just once, on Sunday, and it was fantastic. Smooth, light. I can really fly on it. This week I'm bumping the mileage up to 40 miles, twice a week. Go PMC!!

New Bike

Found wood, scrap metal, encaustic

Here is an except from Narayan's recent column in Buddhadharma: The Practitioner's Quarterly: 

"In our practice, we are cultivating passion for a vision of how things could be and at the same time, we are learning how to be equanimous and non resistant to how things are right now. We always have the potential to encourage what is beautiful within us. 

The passion to contribute what we can, in each situation we are in, is a form of love. Passion only turns into a problem when we try to control the outcome of our efforts. When we find others aren't co-operating with our vision (what a surprise!) or are in direct opposition to it, what may have begun as passion and love can turn into burnout and frustration. 

Ultimately, we are trying to cultivate a passion for life rather than for the things of life, a passion that expands our sense of what is possible in this world and extends the heart beyond what we think is possible. This kind of passion is real love. And in this way, passion and equanimity come together in love and in wisdom."

Friday I did another self-retreat, spending the entire day in silence, practicing meditation. Walking, sitting, yoga. I was inspired to do this once a month after I attended my first silent retreat at Insight Meditation Society in January. That was 4 days of silence. I follow a set schedule, and find myself resisting it at times. That is my nature -- a lot of resistance! But it is so good. Deeply settling and calming. I intend to do it the last Friday of the month, for as long as possible. I'd also like to do a longer retreat at a meditation center - 7 or 10 days. Building up!

Wednesday I have my 3-month check-up at the Dana Farber. Blood work, physical exam and injection of Lupron. I am feeling really good so I expect everything will be fine and within normal limits. The next scans are scheduled for July. That is always nerve-wracking, no matter how well I feel.

I started training for the Pan Mass Challenge a few weeks ago. This week I'm doing 35 mile rides, twice a week. I am adding 5 miles a week so that by the time of the ride in early August, I should be all set and able to easily do 110 miles. That said, it's painful! It hurts to ride that far, even 35 miles. I do fine each time, until the last 5 miles. Yesterday I was at the bike shop, getting a flat fixed. Next thing I knew, I had traded in my Surly for a new road bike! I was chatting with another customer and began to check out her bike. Next thing I was riding one around the parking lot. And was told that there was a used one - just my size. So I was able to trade in for a $1,600 bike -- at a cost of net $100. So I went for it. I can't even remember the manufacturer -- it's orange and black and about 18 pounds. So looking forward to riding this morning!