Just 10 more treatments... the end feels in sight. The last 5 will be "boosters", just on the scar. I'll switch to a different machine for that. Wednesday I'll see the Vixen for my monthly appointment.
I'm in an interesting space mentally/spiritually. I feel very happy most of the time. Happy isn't exactly the right word. Peaceful. Extremely peaceful. Everything that happens is fine. Even seeing a young girl walking into the Dana Farber this morning, very skinny with a mask. She must have been about 10 years old. I felt for her, I wish it could be different, but it's not. I felt enormous empathy but not anger. The last weeks have been wonderful. It's hard to describe but basically I am in love with everything. I experience pleasure most of the time. Visually my senses are very sharp, music sounds great, the air smells of spring. I have never been happier in my life. And it's just the little things, really. Nothing extraordinary is happening other than how I experience things. I go to treatment, I go to work, I work in the gardens and studio. It's like this: having experienced bliss states where I feel this expanding sense of love and connection, it's always available to me. I know how to re-connect with it. It makes me feel very blessed. Once I understand it better, I feel that it is an amazing gift that must be shared.
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