"Joy Is the Decisive Test"

Aunt Marty

On Friday I got scans - bone and CT (chest, abdomen, pelvis). And results tomorrow at 4:30pm. Glenn will go with me and maybe my sister. I'm feeling well and am (obviously) hopeful that everything is stable. No new tumors. And in a perfect world, the existing tumors are shrinking. I'm not holding out for that - just "stable" would be awesome. In the past I've done the scans (takes about 4 hours) and the consult the same day. But back in July the final results weren't in at the consult, and communication got really messed up. So this way there is the 3 day wait but she will know what's up by the time we meet.

What do I expect? more uncertainty. In cancer world, they talk about "the new normal". and this is indeed my new normal. Wait and watch. But I don't think I'll get terrible news.

Today we went to the Cape to see my aunt (and uncle). They will both be 89 next month. We met my aunt for 10am church which made her very happy. And went back to the house for lunch. She prepared a nice meal. and we walked around some. My uncle is pretty deep into dementia and as a result she is heavily burdened. but she has joined a local support group and is talking about what she wants to do next - more involvement with music. She hopes to be accepted into her church choir. She is so inspiring to me and I'm so glad to see her. At almost-89, you never know.

I hope to get to NYC to see a show at MOMA - Tarsila do Amaral. She worked in 1920's and beyond. She was married to a poet named Oswaldo de Andrade, and I love this quote of his: "joy is the decisive test". I aspire to that - no matter what comes.

Think about it. "Joy is the decisive test". Deep and inspiring.